ended

our happy endin,
christmas party last year, the first time we were really so close.
i was lost, and you ride your bike all the way to find me
you want me to sit on your bike and i dont want.
so you carried my bag. that was really very sweet. (:
i thought i will be real nervous because you are still a stranger to me.
however when we talk, i felt so comfortable.
and next we became closer and closer..

i was working then.
we smsed everyday, every single day.
december 2006 was a raining season. i felt so cold.
i still remember, you once smsed and said : if i hug you, you'll feel warmer.

and during the few days i was sick. so sick.
you wanted to deliver liang teh to my house. quite touched.
although i told you you dont need to deliver becos is very late already,
but i wanted you to come.
but in the end you didnt come, so stupid of you!!
from then on, i know there's some feelings there but avoiding to because of all my previous relationship..

we went to suntec, the first day we went out.
we watched the victim. you was so scared. HAHA.
silly guy. dont dare watch still pei me watch.
you tried to hold my hands for so many uncountable times.
but i did't grab yours. i was not prepared yet. not prepared for all this.

on 14.01.2007 A SPECIAL DAY.

@ CAUSEWAY POINT.
you tried to hold my hand, and i hold yours.
together, together, together (:
i still asked you to ask me that important question.. HEH.
we went onto the bus, so many people.
so many people so we were standing.
the driver suddenly brake, i lose my balance..
you held me so tightly, i cant describe me feeling then..

so we went out almost every weekend.
because of your air force course, we cant go out on weekdays.
i'll be very anxious of the next day we can see each other..
because i feel like seeing you everyday..

we bought a pair of necklace. and i know you put it in your coin pouch.
and also our neoprint. i wonder where will you put it now.
would you throw away? burn it?

the brown shirt i accompanied you to buy for CHINESE NEW YEAR!
will you still wear it?

VALENTINE'S DAY came.
it's a wednesday.
after your work, we celebrated watching epic4.
such a stupid movie. and you keep telling me that you didnt bought valentine day pressie for me.
however in the end.
somehow it pops up from your bag. HAHA.
a ME TO YOU BEAR and my favourite chocolate.
MELTED CHOCOLATE. haha.

your birthday! 21st birthday boy!
HEE. i gave you an oversized bermudas. didn't know your skinnier than i expected.
and the SPIDERMAN on your car. will you take down?


so many memories. HAI.
the days before you have a car. i love to take the mrt.
and the reason is that, i know whenever i lose balance, you'll hold me tight in your arms.
hence, when i know you want to buy a car, i was so scared everything will change.
i want to go to somewhere, just to spend longer time with you. you know a night isn't long enough every week.
sometimes really cant bear to go home.
then i suggested the garden nearby, you said cannot. go home straight away.
i dunno they way there, so you lied that we are going home.
however, in the end, we reached the park! TADA. haha. so happy!

the arena country club.
i stayed over. but that day wasn't good.
you scolded me stupid becos of that matter and your mood was real bad.
it was the first time i saw you so angry.
you even pointed middle finger.
so unlike of you. you'll always point the fourth finger de ah.. HAHA.
but i was really shocked, when you left me alone with the rest..
luckily you were alright a while later.
so your played dota, and i was by your side.
one of the happiest day of my life.
you ate vegetarian with me. you said that time remind you to eat veg with me whenever you're with me..
i can see what you wanna do for me..
i can stay over night, with you.
sleep by your side and lie on your shoulders.

we had so many unhappy things.
but i would only wanna remember the happy ones.
i dont care unhappy we are the past. i wan the happy things.

MY BIRTHDAY!
we shopped ard tog with cw and rox, and you asked me to pick my present.
you didnt mind to buy me the crumpler bag.
i want, but i dont want you to fork out money, its so expensive!
but i'm very happy cos i got the keychain which is now still with my housekey.
would you remove it?

the gun that i helped you to do.
in your room's shelf. would you think of me everytime you see it?

so many places we went, many places around Singapore.
kbox, garden, basketball court 806, carparks, whereever and whereever..

your house is the place i've been to the most.
lying on your bed, watching movies or serials.
the most memorable one is of cos hei tang ma qi duo.
cos we love the same song then. which's ku cha!

so now i cant go your house anymore..
the place where i treated just like my home.
the nice bed where i like to snatch away your bolster.
the room where i know whatever is placed.
the wardrobe that i'll always pick a shirt to wear, esp the orange shirt and your jersey..
the laptop which i'll always watch movies and see you play dota and then fall asleep..
the place where you want me to pack your bag before playing basketball. LAZY PIG!
its all gone.. gone.

whenever i'm bored i'll msg you.
when you need entertainment you'll find me.
when i need some ear, i tell you.
now it's not you anymore..

i know you like my eyes alot.
and i love yours too.
the way you'll kiss my forehead..
the way you pinch my cheeks.
the way i'll tickle your armpit and you'll tickle me everywhere.
the way i'll bite you and you'll bite me..
the way you'll hug me so tightly that i wanna die and when i use my fullest strength, it's so forceless to you..
the way you'll play 5,10,15 with me automatically..
the way you'll sing songs to me, esp zhuan shu tian shi and look into my eyes..
the way you'll rub my nose against yours..

i know you're really xin ku.
i felt very xin ku too, because you're xin ku..
i can only give up and let you go..
sometimes i'll hate myself for being a vegetarian..
if i'm a meat eater, i'm sure nth like this will happen.
i'm sorry, i tried to.. and sacrficed, do everything just to be with you.
i asked you once : don't our love is so deep that we could solve all the problems?
your answer was no.
from then on, i know and i know..
if your love is deep enough for me, we can solve all problems.
i'm always there, would you be there too?
i need you, do you need me too?
i love you, do you?

there's still so many things i want to do with you.
our marina bay ferry wheel. i guess you've already forgotten.
take a neoprint card picture.
stay over night with you again.
the ring.
our one year day.. HAI..

i dreamt that you left me a few days ago.
leaving me behind all alone.
and it came true..

i realise i need to forget so many things.
so many memories so many so many..
so lost..